The Rise of Trauma Dumping in Online Spaces: Understanding the Phenomenon

Today, I want to discuss the rise of trauma dumping in online spaces—a trend I've observed over the past year while indulging in one of my favorite pastimes: watching YouTube videos. Just yesterday, I was viewing a tutorial on self-publishing and decided to explore the comment section. To my surprise, the top comment was from a woman detailing a traumatizing experience she intended to write about. Her unexpected disclosure deeply affected me, to the point where I couldn't finish watching the video.

This incident underscores the growing prevalence of unsolicited sharing of traumatic experiences—commonly referred to as "trauma dumping"—in digital forums. Such unanticipated revelations often occur without regard for one’s emotional capacity or consent. This highlights the need for greater awareness and sensitivity regarding the contexts in which we share deeply personal stories online.

Why Do People Engage in Trauma Dumping?

Several factors contribute to this behavior:

• Seeking Validation and Connection: In an era where loneliness is prevalent, many individuals lack real-life connections, making it easier to share personal traumas with unsuspecting people online.
• Anonymity: The internet provides a degree of anonymity, allowing individuals to share experiences they might be too embarrassed to discuss in person or seek professional help for.
• Unprocessed Trauma: Some individuals have not fully processed their experiences, leading them to overshare as a coping mechanism in an attempt to make sense of their emotions.
• Attention-Seeking or Trolling: Some may share distressing stories to elicit reactions, whether to garner sympathy or to cause distress in others.

The Impact on Online Communities

Unsolicited trauma sharing can have several negative effects:

• Emotional Distress: Unexpected exposure to traumatic stories can be disturbing to readers, potentially triggering their own unresolved emotions.
• Disruption of Community Atmosphere: Such comments can shift the tone of online discussions, causing the focus to no longer be on the original content.

The Importance of Appropriate Boundaries

While sharing personal experiences can foster connection, it's crucial to recognize appropriate contexts and audiences. Therapeutic environments are designed to handle such disclosures, whereas public forums are often not equipped to provide the necessary support.

Conclusion

Trauma dumping reflects a broader societal issue: the need for accessible mental health support and a deeper understanding of appropriate emotional boundaries. While it's essential to acknowledge and address personal trauma, doing so in suitable settings ensures healthier interactions and fosters more supportive communities.

New Year’s Resolution: Trusting God in the Waiting: A Testimony of Faith and Hope

It has been a while since I have written on my blog.   As January rolls in, my New Year’s Resolution for this year is to do a better job waiting on God.  Waiting is never easy, especially when it involves being separated from a loved one.  For me, the journey of waiting for my husband to immigrate to America from Nigeria has been one of the most challenging seasons of my life. It has tested my patience in every imaginable way. Yet, through this season, God has taught me valuable lessons about trust, hope, and the beauty of His perfect timing.

The Pain of Waiting

When I first embarked on this journey in 2021, I had no idea how complicated the U.S. immigration system was.  I thought that people marry abroad, and their spouse joins them immediately in the U.S.  However, that is not the case.  The U.S. citizen must petition for the spouse (I 130) which presently takes USCIS over a year to attend to.  After receiving approval, the couple must go through the National Visa Center for even more processing.  Then after all of that is approved, there is a waiting period for an interview.  Usually this takes months, however, for some reason it takes up to a year at Lagos Embassy. 

 And to top it off, I could not even get the process started until May of 2023.  Though we got married in August of 2021, it took two whole years for his passport to be updated.   This was mainly because of pandemic delays and immigration officers not being able to process his paperwork.  However, after two long years he finally received his passport and we could finally move forward with petitioning for his residency in the United States. 

 It was in these moments of pain and frustration that I learned to be honest with God. Sometimes we may be afraid to be honest with our Lord because we may think it offends Him if we share our grievances.  However, this is what He wants us to do.  The Psalms became a refuge for me as I poured out my heart to Him, much like David did when he cried, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1).

 Waiting gives you the opportunity to become more focused and stable

 One good thing that I have learned about waiting is that it grants you the opportunity to become more focused and stable.  Because my husband and I live thousands of miles apart, we are both able to work on ourselves as individuals.  He was able to get extra training in his career as we waited.  I was able to begin a career in special education which brought more financial stability into my life.   We have time to really plan what kind of future we will want for ourselves and our family we will create. 

 My resolution

 As I wait, I thank God for the times I do get to visit my husband.  Because I teach, I am able to spend the entire summer in Nigeria.  There, I learn the language, customs, and culture of the Igbo people.  I have visited Nigeria four times, something I have never imagine being able to do.  And not only do I visit, but I am able to stay there for a couple of months. 

 Finally, we are at the final leg of the journey, which is the visa interview.  Once the Lagos embassy has an opening for him, he will be able to be interviewed and finally get to join me in America.  Praise be to God!

 

 

Finally got all documents submitted to NVC

 Thank you Jesus I was able to overcome those technical issues and get all the documents submitted to the NVC.

CEAC website issues have been happening for years

 I have just one more item to upload, my husband's police character certificate.  He's not going to be able to receive it until tomorrow, so I just thought I would check on the website to see if I would have any sign in issues.  And sure enough, when I signed in I was hit with the dreaded "application error" message.  The messages went on and on until I could not connect to the website anymore.

So I decided to do some research into this problem.  I discovered on Youtube, that these issues with NVC have been going on for years.  And I mean years.  I saw posts from VisaJourney dating all the way back to 2018 with people having these issues.  This is unacceptable.  The US has some of the top technology in the world, why is their website so glitchy?  Why can they not have a more robust website that does not crash every time you try to log in or navigate the page?

I think that the government needs to invest in their own systems.  Money needs to be poured into these shaky websites in order to make them more solid and robust.  The government needs to hire the best IT specialists to design a platform that is solid.  These problems are unacceptable.  

People's lives depend on being able to upload documents in order to bring their loved ones to the US.   In my case I am helping my spouse immigrate to the US.  I am doing this the legal way, the right way, the way of honesty and integrity.  However, more money is poured in to illegal immigration and helping those people than to those immigrating the right way.

Why can't we get millions of dollars poured into legal immigration that will make a website more robust and shorten the whole process from start to finish?  It realistically should not take more than 3 months at the most to bring our loved ones to the US from the moment we fill out the I 130 application, to the time our their Visa appointment.  More money needs to be invested in those who are immigrating to the US the right way.

Update: CEAC application access

 Yesterday I received an email response from NVC saying that they are well aware of the situation.  I was able to log into my account and navigate the form.  I still experienced glitches (such as it navigating off of the page and back to the sign in page and losing information).  However, I was able to complete the form after about two hours.  

I am experiencing error messages whenever I try to access my application on the CEAC platform at the NVC (National Visa Center)

 Is anyone else currently receiving various error messages whenever they try to assess their NVC (National Visa Center) application on the CEAC platform?  I am a petitioner who is assisting my husband with legally immigrating to the US.  We are completing his online application with the National Visa Center.  

On July 8th after receiving the NVC welcome letter, I was able to log on and pay the fees with no problem.  However, after I paid the fees, I began receiving error messages the very next day.   Since the site said they were having system maintenance on July 13th I thought that the issue would resolve itself after then.  However, it didn't, I still received messages like the one above.   

I contacted the NVC using their online inquiry form on July 14th and they responded to me very quickly the next day.  They told me that they were aware of error messages and addressing the matter.  They suggested that I keep trying to log on.  I was finally able to long on July 16th.  I started the application process and things were going well.  I wrapped up for the day and decided to continue the application the next day.

The next day arrives and I am back at square one receiving a barrage of error messages as I try to sign on.  I tried different browsers different laptops, every thing that I could think of.  None of them worked.  I was finally able to log on after approximately ten attempts.  However, this time when I pressed "next" to navigate the application, the website took me back to the sign in page where I could not get pass the "application error" message.  Then the website just stopped connecting altogether.  This went on for the next day.

On today,  July 19th I still received the sign in errors but was able to log on to the website.  However, after logging into my application, the same thing occurred when I tried to navigate to the page to pick up where I left off.  I keep getting error message after error message until the site just stop connecting again.

I did contact the NVC through their online inquiry form this morning, but this is just beyond frustrating.  It takes long enough (13 months for me) to get the marriage petition approved by USCIS, now I am delayed at the NVC stage because of technical difficulties.  I understand that many people are experiencing these issues.  However, we should not be.

I had no issues with the online I-130 form when I petitioned for my husband over a year ago.  However, the NVC website is giving me so many problems that it is disheartening.  There needs to be a number that we can call where someone can walk us through the technological issues. 

I am a tax paying US citizen and this is unacceptable.   

Maintaining Godly Composure in Business

"And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them". Luke 6:31

           As many of you might know, I have several online stores where I sell customized gifts on a platform called Zazzle.  Well I have started to promote my products using YouTube as well as making tutorials to teach other people how to be successful on Zazzle.  So far, 99% of the feedback has been positive, but there is always that 1% that is negative.  Yesterday, I received a negative comment on a video that I made celebrating one of my Zazzle achievements.  Instead of just congratulating, two individuals left negative comments.  One of the comments really got under my skin and I wanted to track the person down and tell them off.  However, I just quietly deleted the comment because 1) I do not want to do anything that will affect my brand or my Youtube channel.  2)  It is not Godly to conduct myself in this matter and that will negatively affect my brand.  So sometimes you just have to hold your peace and display a character of Godliness.